Instructor meeting

So this morning, while in Civil Procedure, I had a question for my professor.  Class had ended so I went to ask her after class, she made a point of asking how my health was.  She and I went to her office and she let me know she was on the admissions committee.  First of all, this particular professor has a reputation for being rather cold and unfeeling.  This was so not the case or the feeling I got while sitting in her office.  She was genuinely concerned about me.  She explained why they made the initial decision not to readmit me.  The reasoning was that they felt I had fallen into a hole from which I could get out.  They were concerned that my deficiencies were too great to allow me to pass the bar exam.  So I guess in a way, I get why they did what they did.  Still doesn't mean I like it.  Doesn't mean I'm not going to blow these exams out of the flipping water and have an awesome GPA this time around.  She made a point though of letting me know she is on my side.  It made me feel like a million bucks.  She also told me that she thinks I can have better than a 3.0 GPA this time. I feel pretty amazing to feel like this pretty competent attorney and amazing teacher thinks I can actually do this.

Harder than I though

So we did a portion of a memo in our Research and Writing Class.  We got it back last week and it has taken me this long to be willing to talk about it.  It was bad.  I busted ass on it and let's just say there was as much green ink on it that if it had been an alien I would have thought that it had been massacred.  Let's just say this was a big blow to my confidence.  I was floored.  I had worked on this, had proofread it and felt like she had just killed it.  I left that class and drove home in tears, literally. How can I do this if I can't even manage the analysis portion of an ungraded memo?  I have a conference with her later in the week to discuss it.  Hopefully it goes better than I anticipate it.  We also have a lunch with LexisNexis to help do the research for the memo.

My doctor's appointment went well.  My TSH is still very low, meaning I am not creating any thyroid hormone at all but the T4 is right where it needs to be so there was no need to change my dosages.  My potassium is actually higher than it was the last time I was in so that was cut down to once a day, thank goodness.   Those pills are HUGE!!!  Now if I could just shake this cold I seem to have come down with, everything would be great.  The docs want to give me steroids but that option is off the table for me now forever due to it landing me in the hospital last time.

September

So as the fall semester progresses, I realize just how hard this is going to be.  One of our professors had a death in the family so we missed an entire week of his class.  This puts us WAY behind in torts. That being said, I think we can manage.  However, my first time around, I had purchased a study aid called The First Year Law Set.  It is flash cards on the different classes that are required for your first year.  Well, when I first purchased it, I opened the civil procedure cards and read about 5 or 6 of them and was completely discouraged because I didn't get it.  I'm not sure if it is that I am doing things differently this time around or what, but I gave them another shot the other day and boy was I shocked.  I was able to answer over 100 of them without a whole lot of difficulty.  Granted I did get a few wrong but that is way better than last time.  To fill you in, Civil Procedure I was other than Contracts, which I failed, was my lowest grade.  So to be able to kick butt on these this time, made me feel like a million bucks.

However, I'm getting a bit afraid.  I have my first endocrinologist appointment since readmission next week.  I have to go have my blood drawn this week.  It concerns me due to some energy issues I have been having again.  I can't afford for this to drag me down again.  This is way too important.  Let me say it again, law school is tough.  It takes all I have to do this.  If I didn't have my family there is no way I could do this.

Testing

So I did something today to help me with my exams later.  It may not help me this time around but I think I can manage to get 2.0s on all my exams without it.  I called upon the suggestion of one of my professors and asked to be put on the waiting list for testing for ADD.  Hopefully this will allow me to be given some medication for it or at the very least allow for me some accommodations for it. I still do need to make some time to get over to disability services and get them the documentation for the thyroid disease to ensure that they cannot kick me out if I decide to take a break.  I just need to wait until my next appointment with my endocrinologist to discuss that with him.  I cannot thank him enough.  I have no idea what that man told the admissions committee but whatever it was, it worked.

Self Help

So a friend gave me a gift certificate for a self help course.  Tonight was the last night of it.  The entire course I was quiet and listening as is normal for me.  I had spoken with the accountability partner about my reluctance to speak up and that I was almost in a panic attack even thinking about it.  Well, tonight, I was called out.  It was kind of frightening that the instructor was able to peg me so easily.  He knew right off that I was self defeating.  I do tend to talk myself out of decisions as soon as I make them.  He told me I needed to take the next 30 days and write down the negative things that I start myself thinking.  Once I can identify them, I can start to fight them.   I actually fought this friend the entire damn week.  We have been on the call for two to two and a half hours every night this week.  So for that thank you.  The funny thing is that this is the same thing that both one of my professors and my therapist at the VA have been telling me for many months.  So to sum up, be kind to yourself, it pays off in the end and when you don't, it hurts you.

The Best Law School Daughter I Could Ever Hope For

So today it was brought to my attention by an as yet unnamed person who we shall call D that I had not blogged about her yet.  So let's start at the beginning, our original 1L year.  She was in SBA with a mutual acquaintance who we both did not care for.  He was an absolute jerk.  He decided to take something on my personal facebook page and turn it into an argument.  I attempted to leave it alone and he would not let it go, to the point that it almost came to blows.  D witnessed this and stepped in and even offered to come to my defense if this person took it to official channels (which I am sure he did but nothing ever came of it.)  After that, it was kind of a kindred soul I had found.

2L year we had many of the same classes together to the point that we shared books. However, this was the beginning of my downfall.  This was when my health started to deteriorate.  I still have some of her text messages where I was beating myself up over having flunked out of law school.  Her response was, "BUT YOU COULD HAVE DIED!!!!!!" She was quite simply the rock I needed to keep myself sane.

I call her my law school daughter simply because there is a large difference in our ages.  Not quite enough for me to be her mommy but close enough.  Unfortunately she is having a bit of a rough time right now and I hope I can return the favor that she gave me this summer.

So First Day....Again?

So tomorrow I start law school, again.  I am somewhat nervous about this.  How different are people going to treat me this time?  How are the people who were in my class that are graduating going to treat me tomorrow?  I hated this first year with every ounce of my being.  I hate this idea of having to repeat these classes that I have already passed.

So it wasn't nearly as bad as I was anticipating.  Very few of the new class with the exception of a few of them know that I am repeating.  Obviously the person who was readmitted with me, another non traditional student that is in my new section and one who was assigned to interview me today in Legal Research and Writing.

First classes,  we started with Contracts.  This makes it official.  I will take this class with every professor that teaches it at this school.  I am doing something a little bit differently this time.  I am refusing to take my laptop with me to school.  I am handwriting all my notes.  I can already see a difference in my attention span. I am no longer looking for something else to take my attention when the class is boring.

Secondly, we went to Legal Traditions.  We are the only school that does this class.  It is horrid.  The only reason I did so well the last time was that I managed to study the exact old exam that my teacher gave that time.  It was boring.  It didn't help that my friend that was readmitted with me had history with the teacher.  It was plainly obvious when the guy called roll.

Then we went to Torts.  This is one of my favorite classes and I am thankful we don't have the teacher I had last time.  I get a different perspective on this class and I don't have to deal with the snark from the original professor.  This made it so much better.  I enjoyed this class so much that I can't even express it.

Last class was Criminal Law.  This should have been another favorite but I had been dreading it.  This was with the same professor that I had taken International Criminal Law with during the Spring Semester.  I had a very negative experience with this man.  He insulted my military job for three days straight.  He stated that all interrogators would waterboard their suspects without any care for the suspect.  It pissed me the hell off to the point that during one of the days I walked out of his class.  I was done.  I barely passed his class and I am sure it is because I called him out on his comments.  I told him that he was disrespectful and rude about something he had never done and would never do.  I had the balls to go and defend his country and how the hell did he think I managed to do that if someone didn't go and interrogate people to get information.

Then the second day, we had Legal Research and Writing.  I was lucky in that I got the same teacher I had the last time around who is one of my all time favorites.  She is a absolutely wonderful and caring woman. When she found out what had happened she was more worried about how I felt than the results.  She likens this class in law school to the class in medical school where the students get the cadaver to dissect.

Then it was back to Traditions.  Then we got to go to Basic Civil Procedure I.  This was with a woman I really respect.  She was my evidence teacher where I wasn't happy with her but in civil procedure she is a beast.  She is absolutely amazing.  In one of her quotes, "Another person might know bunches about Tort Law but you can still beat them if you can use civil procedure to keep them out of the courtroom."

Robin Williams

By now everyone has heard the news.

A Goodbye Letter to Robin Williams:

Last night I heard the news.  I kept waiting for someone to tell me it was a hoax as it so often is.  My husband even asked me to be sure before I reposted it that it was true.  Unfortunately this time it was the truth. Today I saw the news report that confirmed the cause of death as suicide.  On one hand, my heart breaks for you that you felt that this was your only way out, the only relief from the immense pain you must have been feeling.  On the other hand, I am truly and immensely pissed off at you right now.  Very few of my childhood memories don’t have you in it.  From Mork and Mindy all the way to Aladdin, with Dead Poets Society and What Dreams May Come thrown in between.  This was before a time when DVD players and fast forwarding through commercials was possible.  I waited every week to see what mistakes you would make in this new world you had been thrown into.  Now years have gone by and the only way to see those old clips are on Youtube and DVDs (if you can even find them).  People that were in my life then have come and gone but those memories remain.  You were always public with your struggle with sobriety and there was never a doubt that you would triumph over it.  You were always one of the few who felt the need to respect the troops.  There will never be another you.  You were a rare jewel, the “diamond in the rough.”   Regardless, I hope now that you have found the peace that you were searching for in this action from which you can’t come back from.  I tried rolling a 5 and an 8 last night.  You touched so many people with your talent.  But then again, I guess the talent only hid the pain.  “No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.” Your words and ideas did change the world, at least for me, even if only for a little while.

Your fan,

Cherry

Confused much?

So this week, I got an email that was intended for the 3Ls.  Dividing them into sections for the program that takes place before the year starts. I happened to look at the list and my name was still on it.  I was concerned and decided to email the people in charge since they seemed to think I was still a 3L.  You would have thought I had committed a mortal sin.  They acted like I was stupid for even emailing them about this. I emailed because I was still listed.  Come on people.  Combined with the fact that I haven't received anything about new student orientation, why would I think I wouldn't need to be there?

Finally got the financial aid straightened out.  Would have been nice to get as much as they initially had me listed for but they caught that the tuition waiver put me over a limit.  Now my aid has been reduced by the tuition waiver amount.  It is still enough for me to get some bills paid off, hubby and I to have a nice anniversary trip AND I get to be a maid in our Mardi Gras krewe.

Schedule

So in your first year, the school determines your schedule.  They place you in a section and you spend your entire first year with those same roughly 70 people. So for this semester I was assigned to take Torts, Criminal Law, Basic Civil Procedure I, Contracts, Legal Research and Writing I and Legal Traditions and Systems.  This last class is one that is only required to be taken at my particular law school.  This is going to be a long semester.  At least I know this time around to make sure that I keep doing the things that keep me sane.  That means I still take my belly dance lessons, I still do my cast workshops for the Renaissance Festival.

One thing I fully intend to do differently is make my own outlines.  I relied entirely too much on other people's outlines from an outline bank the last time.  I need to make my own in order to put the information in my mind to recall it on the final exam.  I was given an opportunity for a new start and I have no intentions of wasting it.  I fought way too hard to get to where I am today to make the same mistakes I made the last time. Insanity is doing the same thing expecting a different result.

So I have classes at 9 am every day of the week.  Not a terrible time to have to be at school.  I am not in the same section I was in the first time so I have to get mostly new books.  I do also have mostly new teachers. A couple of them I have before in other classes.  My civil procedure teacher was also my evidence teacher.  My criminal law professor was my international criminal law professor (UGH!).  My Legal Research and Writing professor is the same.  I did write an email to her and explain the situation.  Her response made me feel considerably better.  She told me that she completely admired my tenacity and conviction and not to worry about anyone's timeline but my own.

SUCCESS!!!

So this morning the Vice Chancellor calls me and we discuss the situation.  He told me to get in touch with the professor in charge of the admissions committee.  I sent an email that told him that I was ok with going back to my 1L year if I was receiving a tuition waiver but that if the tuition waiver was not part of the deal, then there was no incentive for me to go that route.  My GPA while not wonderful, has already been earned and paid for and I have no desire to pay for it again.  I explained that I could take a year off and reapply and start where I had left off with very little struggle.  

A couple of hours after I sent that email to the professor, I received a reply.  

I approve a waiver of tuition (and tuition only -- not other fees that are not part of tuition itself) for next two academic years, provided that you meet the conditions of your academic probation and remain a full-time student in good standing.  The waiver does not apply to the summer term.  

This means I won!  I got exactly what I had asked for.  I feel like I have won a major legal battle.  

Next installments will discuss schedules and classes.

The Wait is Over....Sorta.

So I wake up this morning to wonderful news.  I had received an email that accepted me into the Class of 2017.  There was a letter attached that would spell out the conditions of my readmission.  I open the letter to read the conditions and there was no mention of the tuition waiver.  Why would I want to go back to being a 1L if I have to pay for it?  It makes more sense for me to wait and reapply next year.

So on one hand, I am thrilled to be back in school but on the other I am furious.  I cannot afford to pay for two more years of tuition.  I will end up maxing out my student loans and not being able to finish.  By declaring academic bankruptcy, I believe and I may be mistaken, that I am out of the running for scholarships and such so I cannot get any help there.

I emailed the admissions director and he said the committee voted against it.  I'm having a hard time believing that.  I emailed the vice chancellor and he is supposed to call me tomorrow morning.

More Waiting

So at about noon today I emailed the Vice Chancellor that was included in the meeting.  Below is the letter that I sent.  I have removed names so as to keep these people anonymous.  

Dear Vice Chancellor X,
On July 17, 2014 I drove to the law center at your request for a meeting with Admissions Director, Professor B, head of the Admissions Committee and you to discuss my academic situation.  At that meeting, we discussed me declaring academic bankruptcy and starting over from my 1L year with a two year tuition waiver.  There were some things that the three of you needed such as a conversation with my doctor and copies of more recent TSH test results.  I provided the copies of test results from both May and June and I was informed that my endocrinologist spoke with Admissions Director on July 22.  I emailed Professor B on July 23 to inquire if there was anything further needed and was informed there was not and he still needed to get the committee’s decision and in a few days shoukd be able to let me know. It is now July 29 and I am still waiting for this decision.My life is basically on hold until I receive the decision.  I can’t go apply for jobs as I may have to leave in a few weeks when school starts.  I can’t even go back to my volunteer position at a domestic violence shelter as I cannot give them a definitive answer as to how long I’m there.  I did email Professor B again yesterday and have not heard anything back.If for some reason I should not be readmitted, I need to know this before my current health insurance expires so that I can find other insurance without having to deal with the complication of a prior diagnosed condition. While I appreciate the opportunity I have been extended, I am in need of some definitive answers at this point.I appreciate all that you have done for me and I look forward to starting law school again soon.

He did respond with the following so hopefully I will know more later:

I am sorry that no decision has been made. I will check on this matter and determine whether further information is needed.

I am not involved in a direct manner in the process of admissions or readmission – but I can certainly check on this matter.

Waiting

So the director of admissions spoke with my endocrinologist on Tuesday.  On Wednesday afternoon I emailed the head of the admissions committee to see if they needed any further information from me.  About three hours later I got an email back from him telling me that he still needed to get the decision from the committee and he should be able to give me an answer in a few days.  I, probably foolishly, was hoping that would mean that I would have an answer by the end of the week but it was not written in the stars.  I was hoping that this indecision would finally be over.

One thing I am somewhat confused about though is why he needs to get the decision of the committee. Didn't they already offer me the deal?  Was that not already approved?  I understand that they need to be sure that the committee is aware that I wish to enroll for the upcoming year rather than waiting a year but this seems to be a bit roundabout.  I am tired of waiting for all the people to get together to make this decision.

I know for a fact that the admissions committee sent out some readmission decisions as a friend was informed of their decision on Wednesday.  That was part of the reason that I was hoping that I would get some answers by the end of last week.  I have decided that if I do not have answers by the end of business on Monday I will be emailing the Vice Chancellor that was part of the meeting to get some answers.

Readmission

So I filled out the application for readmission just as I was instructed.  I waited patiently for a month and a half.  I asked the admissions director when the committee was meeting and rarely did I get a response.  Finally I was informed that the committee had voted to deny my application.  However, I did have an ace up my sleeve in that I had already emailed the Chancellor to speak with him about the numerous things that had occurred with my situation.  We were meeting the following day.

I had already spoken to one of my favorite professors regarding some things I needed to do to convince the committee that I was working on my health and dealing with the academic problems.  In fact, he was the one who suggested I talk to the Chancellor. In speaking with the Chancellor, he asked me how I would feel about conditional admission.  I told him I would be fine with that as it would allow me the opportunity to prove to the committee that I could indeed do this.  He said that he would speak with the Head of the Admissions Committee and get back with me.

I let about two weeks go by before I emailed the Chancellor again about the conditional admission.  The very next day I got an email from the Vice Chancellor I had spoken to initially.  He wanted me to call him so that we could set up a meeting about my academic situation. I drove to the campus two days later and met with the admissions director, head of the admissions committee and the Vice Chancellor.  The deal they offered was not the conditional admission that the Chancellor and I had discussed, however it was just as good. They offered to allow me to return to law school as a 1L and retake all the classes by declaring academic bankruptcy.  This would allow me to improve my grades and class rank without having to fight the horrid GPA that I already had due to the illness.  In order for this not to be a drain on my finances, they did offer a two year tuition waiver for the years I had already paid for.

I did explain that I wanted to start back as a member of the class of 2017 if I did this.  They wanted me to wait until 2018 (to allow my health time to improve they claimed).  I explained however, that if I had to wait then they would be placing my health in more jeopardy as I would no longer have health insurance as my current health insurance was through the school.  The head of the admissions committee said that my need for the insurance would probably be enough to persuade the committee to allow me to enroll this Fall.

They did wish to speak to my doctor before making that decision in order to ensure that I would not end up back in this same position.  My doctor called the Admissions Director earlier in the week and via email it has been confirmed that the committee does not need anything further from me.  All that I am waiting on now is for the committee to approve this and I can start this journey anew.

Spring Semester

So Spring Semester starts.  I'm still not feeling well.  I can barely get out of bed.  But I do it.  Finally February arrives and I go see my new endocrinologist.  I do my blood work and later that afternoon I get a phone call from his nurse who asks if I am taking my medication. I told her that yes I was taking it religiously. At this point I was taking 1 grain of Armour thyroid.  She told me that I was extremely hypothyroid and the doctor wished to increase my dose.

So for those who are unfamiliar with hypothyroidism, normal ranges for TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) are .3 - 3.  The more your body makes of this hormone, the higher dose of the medicine you need.  My level was 128.3!  No wonder they asked if I was even taking my meds.  This explains SOOOOO much!  Once the dose is increased it takes 6 weeks to get into your system and test again.  So since my initial appointment was the middle of February, we are looking at the end of April to test again. RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF EXAMS!

Cognitive difficulties, extreme fatigue, memory impairment.  These are merely a few of the symptoms of thyroid disease.  But I managed to push through these and take exams.  The day after exams ended, my loving husband made me go to the doctor again.  I was diagnosed with bronchitis and given a steroid shot. This was about 4 pm.  At about 11 pm that night, I started to not be able to hold my weight on my legs.  They would just give out on me. My husband took me to the Emergency Room.  I could not walk to the bathroom on my own.  They ended up admitting me due to hypokalemia, low potassium.  Apparently this is a rare reaction that happens with steroid shots and thyroid patients sometimes.  I was admitted and kept for two days.  I was released on Monday morning and have to take a potassium pill twice a day.

Around Memorial Day we got our grades.  I was screwed.  I didn't get a 2.0. I had a 1.95.  I called the Vice Chancellor.  We spoke about the situation and he told me to wait until the reports were run and if I was dropped that I would have to reapply.  He did tell me to email him about the medical situation I was having.  I did that thinking that he was going to see about perhaps dealing with the academic drop.  No such luck.  Tuesday, I was notified that I had been excluded from the student body.

The Beginning

So to start the journey let me explain where I came from.  I was in the midst of a divorce, wanting a new start and decided to move away from Alabama and back to Louisiana where I had grown up.  My father still lived here and I was hoping that he would show more of an interest in my children than he had so far.  I had obtained my Associate's of Science from Central Alabama Community College and I applied to Southeastern Louisiana University.  At that point, my major was initially math education.  However, the difference in the states would have made me start almost completely over so I chose a new major, Criminal Justice.  An offhand remark by my daughter reminded me of my desire to become an attorney and so a new path began.

I applied to three law schools in my senior year of college, Southern, Tulane and LSU.  I really did not expect to get into LSU or Tulane.  So I patiently waited while working in a domestic violence shelter.  This only solidified my desire to practice law.  So one day, two envelopes came in the mail, one from LSU and one from Southern.  I had been accepted to both!  So I had to make a decision.  Did I go to the law school that had a higher bar passage rate but only accepted students full time or do I attempt to work around my job and go to the other school that accepts part time students?  Fortunately for me, the decision was made for me, in that I lost my job.  So I accepted the offer from LSU.

First year was hell.  We don't choose schedules, the people we are in classes with, nothing.  But I survived it. However, I failed contracts that first semester.  The second semester was much better.  I went to school during the summer in order to keep my credits on track for graduation.  I began having migraines though, along with my thyroid disease that I have had for many years which is controlled very well through a daily medication.  I was placed on a preventative for my migraines and it seemed to help.

Second year starts and I'm ok.  Then I get a letter in the mail telling me that my endocrinologist has passed away.  I was due for my semi-annual checkup in less than a month.  So I call the new endocrinologist and I am unable to be seen until February (it's currently August).  I begin feeling very fatigued and worn out.  I find that I am unable to remember things that I should be remembering.  This doesn't bode well for exam time. I get my grades for the Fall Semester and of course, they sucked.  I had a GPA of 1.87.  I was properly placed on academic probation.  I needed to get a 2.0 the following semester or I would be removed from the student body.