Self Help

So a friend gave me a gift certificate for a self help course.  Tonight was the last night of it.  The entire course I was quiet and listening as is normal for me.  I had spoken with the accountability partner about my reluctance to speak up and that I was almost in a panic attack even thinking about it.  Well, tonight, I was called out.  It was kind of frightening that the instructor was able to peg me so easily.  He knew right off that I was self defeating.  I do tend to talk myself out of decisions as soon as I make them.  He told me I needed to take the next 30 days and write down the negative things that I start myself thinking.  Once I can identify them, I can start to fight them.   I actually fought this friend the entire damn week.  We have been on the call for two to two and a half hours every night this week.  So for that thank you.  The funny thing is that this is the same thing that both one of my professors and my therapist at the VA have been telling me for many months.  So to sum up, be kind to yourself, it pays off in the end and when you don't, it hurts you.