Testing

So I did something today to help me with my exams later.  It may not help me this time around but I think I can manage to get 2.0s on all my exams without it.  I called upon the suggestion of one of my professors and asked to be put on the waiting list for testing for ADD.  Hopefully this will allow me to be given some medication for it or at the very least allow for me some accommodations for it. I still do need to make some time to get over to disability services and get them the documentation for the thyroid disease to ensure that they cannot kick me out if I decide to take a break.  I just need to wait until my next appointment with my endocrinologist to discuss that with him.  I cannot thank him enough.  I have no idea what that man told the admissions committee but whatever it was, it worked.

Self Help

So a friend gave me a gift certificate for a self help course.  Tonight was the last night of it.  The entire course I was quiet and listening as is normal for me.  I had spoken with the accountability partner about my reluctance to speak up and that I was almost in a panic attack even thinking about it.  Well, tonight, I was called out.  It was kind of frightening that the instructor was able to peg me so easily.  He knew right off that I was self defeating.  I do tend to talk myself out of decisions as soon as I make them.  He told me I needed to take the next 30 days and write down the negative things that I start myself thinking.  Once I can identify them, I can start to fight them.   I actually fought this friend the entire damn week.  We have been on the call for two to two and a half hours every night this week.  So for that thank you.  The funny thing is that this is the same thing that both one of my professors and my therapist at the VA have been telling me for many months.  So to sum up, be kind to yourself, it pays off in the end and when you don't, it hurts you.

The Best Law School Daughter I Could Ever Hope For

So today it was brought to my attention by an as yet unnamed person who we shall call D that I had not blogged about her yet.  So let's start at the beginning, our original 1L year.  She was in SBA with a mutual acquaintance who we both did not care for.  He was an absolute jerk.  He decided to take something on my personal facebook page and turn it into an argument.  I attempted to leave it alone and he would not let it go, to the point that it almost came to blows.  D witnessed this and stepped in and even offered to come to my defense if this person took it to official channels (which I am sure he did but nothing ever came of it.)  After that, it was kind of a kindred soul I had found.

2L year we had many of the same classes together to the point that we shared books. However, this was the beginning of my downfall.  This was when my health started to deteriorate.  I still have some of her text messages where I was beating myself up over having flunked out of law school.  Her response was, "BUT YOU COULD HAVE DIED!!!!!!" She was quite simply the rock I needed to keep myself sane.

I call her my law school daughter simply because there is a large difference in our ages.  Not quite enough for me to be her mommy but close enough.  Unfortunately she is having a bit of a rough time right now and I hope I can return the favor that she gave me this summer.

So First Day....Again?

So tomorrow I start law school, again.  I am somewhat nervous about this.  How different are people going to treat me this time?  How are the people who were in my class that are graduating going to treat me tomorrow?  I hated this first year with every ounce of my being.  I hate this idea of having to repeat these classes that I have already passed.

So it wasn't nearly as bad as I was anticipating.  Very few of the new class with the exception of a few of them know that I am repeating.  Obviously the person who was readmitted with me, another non traditional student that is in my new section and one who was assigned to interview me today in Legal Research and Writing.

First classes,  we started with Contracts.  This makes it official.  I will take this class with every professor that teaches it at this school.  I am doing something a little bit differently this time.  I am refusing to take my laptop with me to school.  I am handwriting all my notes.  I can already see a difference in my attention span. I am no longer looking for something else to take my attention when the class is boring.

Secondly, we went to Legal Traditions.  We are the only school that does this class.  It is horrid.  The only reason I did so well the last time was that I managed to study the exact old exam that my teacher gave that time.  It was boring.  It didn't help that my friend that was readmitted with me had history with the teacher.  It was plainly obvious when the guy called roll.

Then we went to Torts.  This is one of my favorite classes and I am thankful we don't have the teacher I had last time.  I get a different perspective on this class and I don't have to deal with the snark from the original professor.  This made it so much better.  I enjoyed this class so much that I can't even express it.

Last class was Criminal Law.  This should have been another favorite but I had been dreading it.  This was with the same professor that I had taken International Criminal Law with during the Spring Semester.  I had a very negative experience with this man.  He insulted my military job for three days straight.  He stated that all interrogators would waterboard their suspects without any care for the suspect.  It pissed me the hell off to the point that during one of the days I walked out of his class.  I was done.  I barely passed his class and I am sure it is because I called him out on his comments.  I told him that he was disrespectful and rude about something he had never done and would never do.  I had the balls to go and defend his country and how the hell did he think I managed to do that if someone didn't go and interrogate people to get information.

Then the second day, we had Legal Research and Writing.  I was lucky in that I got the same teacher I had the last time around who is one of my all time favorites.  She is a absolutely wonderful and caring woman. When she found out what had happened she was more worried about how I felt than the results.  She likens this class in law school to the class in medical school where the students get the cadaver to dissect.

Then it was back to Traditions.  Then we got to go to Basic Civil Procedure I.  This was with a woman I really respect.  She was my evidence teacher where I wasn't happy with her but in civil procedure she is a beast.  She is absolutely amazing.  In one of her quotes, "Another person might know bunches about Tort Law but you can still beat them if you can use civil procedure to keep them out of the courtroom."

Robin Williams

By now everyone has heard the news.

A Goodbye Letter to Robin Williams:

Last night I heard the news.  I kept waiting for someone to tell me it was a hoax as it so often is.  My husband even asked me to be sure before I reposted it that it was true.  Unfortunately this time it was the truth. Today I saw the news report that confirmed the cause of death as suicide.  On one hand, my heart breaks for you that you felt that this was your only way out, the only relief from the immense pain you must have been feeling.  On the other hand, I am truly and immensely pissed off at you right now.  Very few of my childhood memories don’t have you in it.  From Mork and Mindy all the way to Aladdin, with Dead Poets Society and What Dreams May Come thrown in between.  This was before a time when DVD players and fast forwarding through commercials was possible.  I waited every week to see what mistakes you would make in this new world you had been thrown into.  Now years have gone by and the only way to see those old clips are on Youtube and DVDs (if you can even find them).  People that were in my life then have come and gone but those memories remain.  You were always public with your struggle with sobriety and there was never a doubt that you would triumph over it.  You were always one of the few who felt the need to respect the troops.  There will never be another you.  You were a rare jewel, the “diamond in the rough.”   Regardless, I hope now that you have found the peace that you were searching for in this action from which you can’t come back from.  I tried rolling a 5 and an 8 last night.  You touched so many people with your talent.  But then again, I guess the talent only hid the pain.  “No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.” Your words and ideas did change the world, at least for me, even if only for a little while.

Your fan,

Cherry

Confused much?

So this week, I got an email that was intended for the 3Ls.  Dividing them into sections for the program that takes place before the year starts. I happened to look at the list and my name was still on it.  I was concerned and decided to email the people in charge since they seemed to think I was still a 3L.  You would have thought I had committed a mortal sin.  They acted like I was stupid for even emailing them about this. I emailed because I was still listed.  Come on people.  Combined with the fact that I haven't received anything about new student orientation, why would I think I wouldn't need to be there?

Finally got the financial aid straightened out.  Would have been nice to get as much as they initially had me listed for but they caught that the tuition waiver put me over a limit.  Now my aid has been reduced by the tuition waiver amount.  It is still enough for me to get some bills paid off, hubby and I to have a nice anniversary trip AND I get to be a maid in our Mardi Gras krewe.

Schedule

So in your first year, the school determines your schedule.  They place you in a section and you spend your entire first year with those same roughly 70 people. So for this semester I was assigned to take Torts, Criminal Law, Basic Civil Procedure I, Contracts, Legal Research and Writing I and Legal Traditions and Systems.  This last class is one that is only required to be taken at my particular law school.  This is going to be a long semester.  At least I know this time around to make sure that I keep doing the things that keep me sane.  That means I still take my belly dance lessons, I still do my cast workshops for the Renaissance Festival.

One thing I fully intend to do differently is make my own outlines.  I relied entirely too much on other people's outlines from an outline bank the last time.  I need to make my own in order to put the information in my mind to recall it on the final exam.  I was given an opportunity for a new start and I have no intentions of wasting it.  I fought way too hard to get to where I am today to make the same mistakes I made the last time. Insanity is doing the same thing expecting a different result.

So I have classes at 9 am every day of the week.  Not a terrible time to have to be at school.  I am not in the same section I was in the first time so I have to get mostly new books.  I do also have mostly new teachers. A couple of them I have before in other classes.  My civil procedure teacher was also my evidence teacher.  My criminal law professor was my international criminal law professor (UGH!).  My Legal Research and Writing professor is the same.  I did write an email to her and explain the situation.  Her response made me feel considerably better.  She told me that she completely admired my tenacity and conviction and not to worry about anyone's timeline but my own.