Instructor meeting

So this morning, while in Civil Procedure, I had a question for my professor.  Class had ended so I went to ask her after class, she made a point of asking how my health was.  She and I went to her office and she let me know she was on the admissions committee.  First of all, this particular professor has a reputation for being rather cold and unfeeling.  This was so not the case or the feeling I got while sitting in her office.  She was genuinely concerned about me.  She explained why they made the initial decision not to readmit me.  The reasoning was that they felt I had fallen into a hole from which I could get out.  They were concerned that my deficiencies were too great to allow me to pass the bar exam.  So I guess in a way, I get why they did what they did.  Still doesn't mean I like it.  Doesn't mean I'm not going to blow these exams out of the flipping water and have an awesome GPA this time around.  She made a point though of letting me know she is on my side.  It made me feel like a million bucks.  She also told me that she thinks I can have better than a 3.0 GPA this time. I feel pretty amazing to feel like this pretty competent attorney and amazing teacher thinks I can actually do this.

Harder than I though

So we did a portion of a memo in our Research and Writing Class.  We got it back last week and it has taken me this long to be willing to talk about it.  It was bad.  I busted ass on it and let's just say there was as much green ink on it that if it had been an alien I would have thought that it had been massacred.  Let's just say this was a big blow to my confidence.  I was floored.  I had worked on this, had proofread it and felt like she had just killed it.  I left that class and drove home in tears, literally. How can I do this if I can't even manage the analysis portion of an ungraded memo?  I have a conference with her later in the week to discuss it.  Hopefully it goes better than I anticipate it.  We also have a lunch with LexisNexis to help do the research for the memo.

My doctor's appointment went well.  My TSH is still very low, meaning I am not creating any thyroid hormone at all but the T4 is right where it needs to be so there was no need to change my dosages.  My potassium is actually higher than it was the last time I was in so that was cut down to once a day, thank goodness.   Those pills are HUGE!!!  Now if I could just shake this cold I seem to have come down with, everything would be great.  The docs want to give me steroids but that option is off the table for me now forever due to it landing me in the hospital last time.

September

So as the fall semester progresses, I realize just how hard this is going to be.  One of our professors had a death in the family so we missed an entire week of his class.  This puts us WAY behind in torts. That being said, I think we can manage.  However, my first time around, I had purchased a study aid called The First Year Law Set.  It is flash cards on the different classes that are required for your first year.  Well, when I first purchased it, I opened the civil procedure cards and read about 5 or 6 of them and was completely discouraged because I didn't get it.  I'm not sure if it is that I am doing things differently this time around or what, but I gave them another shot the other day and boy was I shocked.  I was able to answer over 100 of them without a whole lot of difficulty.  Granted I did get a few wrong but that is way better than last time.  To fill you in, Civil Procedure I was other than Contracts, which I failed, was my lowest grade.  So to be able to kick butt on these this time, made me feel like a million bucks.

However, I'm getting a bit afraid.  I have my first endocrinologist appointment since readmission next week.  I have to go have my blood drawn this week.  It concerns me due to some energy issues I have been having again.  I can't afford for this to drag me down again.  This is way too important.  Let me say it again, law school is tough.  It takes all I have to do this.  If I didn't have my family there is no way I could do this.

Testing

So I did something today to help me with my exams later.  It may not help me this time around but I think I can manage to get 2.0s on all my exams without it.  I called upon the suggestion of one of my professors and asked to be put on the waiting list for testing for ADD.  Hopefully this will allow me to be given some medication for it or at the very least allow for me some accommodations for it. I still do need to make some time to get over to disability services and get them the documentation for the thyroid disease to ensure that they cannot kick me out if I decide to take a break.  I just need to wait until my next appointment with my endocrinologist to discuss that with him.  I cannot thank him enough.  I have no idea what that man told the admissions committee but whatever it was, it worked.

Self Help

So a friend gave me a gift certificate for a self help course.  Tonight was the last night of it.  The entire course I was quiet and listening as is normal for me.  I had spoken with the accountability partner about my reluctance to speak up and that I was almost in a panic attack even thinking about it.  Well, tonight, I was called out.  It was kind of frightening that the instructor was able to peg me so easily.  He knew right off that I was self defeating.  I do tend to talk myself out of decisions as soon as I make them.  He told me I needed to take the next 30 days and write down the negative things that I start myself thinking.  Once I can identify them, I can start to fight them.   I actually fought this friend the entire damn week.  We have been on the call for two to two and a half hours every night this week.  So for that thank you.  The funny thing is that this is the same thing that both one of my professors and my therapist at the VA have been telling me for many months.  So to sum up, be kind to yourself, it pays off in the end and when you don't, it hurts you.

The Best Law School Daughter I Could Ever Hope For

So today it was brought to my attention by an as yet unnamed person who we shall call D that I had not blogged about her yet.  So let's start at the beginning, our original 1L year.  She was in SBA with a mutual acquaintance who we both did not care for.  He was an absolute jerk.  He decided to take something on my personal facebook page and turn it into an argument.  I attempted to leave it alone and he would not let it go, to the point that it almost came to blows.  D witnessed this and stepped in and even offered to come to my defense if this person took it to official channels (which I am sure he did but nothing ever came of it.)  After that, it was kind of a kindred soul I had found.

2L year we had many of the same classes together to the point that we shared books. However, this was the beginning of my downfall.  This was when my health started to deteriorate.  I still have some of her text messages where I was beating myself up over having flunked out of law school.  Her response was, "BUT YOU COULD HAVE DIED!!!!!!" She was quite simply the rock I needed to keep myself sane.

I call her my law school daughter simply because there is a large difference in our ages.  Not quite enough for me to be her mommy but close enough.  Unfortunately she is having a bit of a rough time right now and I hope I can return the favor that she gave me this summer.

So First Day....Again?

So tomorrow I start law school, again.  I am somewhat nervous about this.  How different are people going to treat me this time?  How are the people who were in my class that are graduating going to treat me tomorrow?  I hated this first year with every ounce of my being.  I hate this idea of having to repeat these classes that I have already passed.

So it wasn't nearly as bad as I was anticipating.  Very few of the new class with the exception of a few of them know that I am repeating.  Obviously the person who was readmitted with me, another non traditional student that is in my new section and one who was assigned to interview me today in Legal Research and Writing.

First classes,  we started with Contracts.  This makes it official.  I will take this class with every professor that teaches it at this school.  I am doing something a little bit differently this time.  I am refusing to take my laptop with me to school.  I am handwriting all my notes.  I can already see a difference in my attention span. I am no longer looking for something else to take my attention when the class is boring.

Secondly, we went to Legal Traditions.  We are the only school that does this class.  It is horrid.  The only reason I did so well the last time was that I managed to study the exact old exam that my teacher gave that time.  It was boring.  It didn't help that my friend that was readmitted with me had history with the teacher.  It was plainly obvious when the guy called roll.

Then we went to Torts.  This is one of my favorite classes and I am thankful we don't have the teacher I had last time.  I get a different perspective on this class and I don't have to deal with the snark from the original professor.  This made it so much better.  I enjoyed this class so much that I can't even express it.

Last class was Criminal Law.  This should have been another favorite but I had been dreading it.  This was with the same professor that I had taken International Criminal Law with during the Spring Semester.  I had a very negative experience with this man.  He insulted my military job for three days straight.  He stated that all interrogators would waterboard their suspects without any care for the suspect.  It pissed me the hell off to the point that during one of the days I walked out of his class.  I was done.  I barely passed his class and I am sure it is because I called him out on his comments.  I told him that he was disrespectful and rude about something he had never done and would never do.  I had the balls to go and defend his country and how the hell did he think I managed to do that if someone didn't go and interrogate people to get information.

Then the second day, we had Legal Research and Writing.  I was lucky in that I got the same teacher I had the last time around who is one of my all time favorites.  She is a absolutely wonderful and caring woman. When she found out what had happened she was more worried about how I felt than the results.  She likens this class in law school to the class in medical school where the students get the cadaver to dissect.

Then it was back to Traditions.  Then we got to go to Basic Civil Procedure I.  This was with a woman I really respect.  She was my evidence teacher where I wasn't happy with her but in civil procedure she is a beast.  She is absolutely amazing.  In one of her quotes, "Another person might know bunches about Tort Law but you can still beat them if you can use civil procedure to keep them out of the courtroom."